toothpastepancake | Recent Entries

hi, i'm agnes, a 24 (06/27/2001) year old fictoromantic lesbian from the midwestern USA. this is a personal and fandom and pretty-much-anything journal, with a heavy focus on science fiction media . i'm primarily a femslash and het shipper, but i can love anything if it's interesting enough. i post about my life a lot, also fandom goings-on, etc. other usernames you may have known me by: resurrectfeeling, cutopen, binturongparty. i run a femslash archive called sunset running on ao3's code.

i'm physically & mentally disabled and i have dissociative identity disorder. i'm medium support needs autistic too. because of these things i have a somewhat difficult time understanding others, forget things extremely easily and often may not articulate my words very well, so please be patient. i don't go to work or school because of my disability so i spend a lot of time online, haha...

i am strictly anti harassment and anti censorship when it comes to fiction, and i believe fandom should be fun instead of stressful.

i'm a writer, artist, amateur coder, and creator of generally-most-creative-things, like zines, sewing, crochet, experimental music, video games and interactive fiction... i love creativity!! my fanworks are currently here. i have an old ao3 i no longer use, too. fanwork permissions statement is in my profile.

fandoms: the orville, babylon 5, doom patrol, charmed '98 & '18, palia, star trek, the righteous gemstones, community, farscape

in-depth personal talk goes @

alienteeth

feel free to leave any questions or comments you may have for me below.

So! I watched Starfleet Academy last night. Only episode 1, because I'm watching with my mom who only does one "stressful" episode of anything a day, lol. I have lots of thoughts. In 2017 I got obsessed with the Kelvinverse Starfleet Academy minicomic, so I have been waiting for a Starfleet Academy series for NINE ENTIRE YEARS. It came... not in the way I expected.

SPOILERS BELOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

( Read more... )

I am here to a) promote my new community

100femslash and b) post my table for that community!


1. Golden	2. Eyes	3. Spiral	4. Beauty	5. Rose	6. Lost	7. Real	8. Touch	9. Stars	10. `Contrast
11. Crystal	12. Realize	13. Past	14. Forget	15. Drink	16. Locked	17. Lies	18. Outfit	19. Freedom	20. Create
21. More	22. Dream	23. Hair	24. Soft	25. Love	26. Dark	27. Sweet	28. Belief	29. Red	30. Broken
31. Night	32. Music	33. Linger	34. First	35. Spy	36. Origin	37. Fire	38. Rest	39. Pair	40. Comfort
41. Play	42. Party	43. Color	44. Divide	45. Escape	46. Rainbow	47. Desire	48. Grow	49. Seek	50. Art
51. Shift	52. Yearn	53. Treasure	54. Proud	55. Warning	56. Tempt	57. Old	58. Decide	59. Protect	60. Eat
61. Time	62. Circle	63. Skill	64. Offer	65. Union	66. Fix	67. Watch	68. Train	69. Monster	70. Heal
71. Pet	72. Dirty	73. Lace	74. Texture	75. Moon	76. Alone	77. Reunite	78. Anger	79. Planet	80. Hate
81. Ascend	82. Beat	83. Violet	84. Obscure	85. Trick	86. Unravel	87. Amaze	88. Speak	89. Fantasy	90. Stand
91. Halt	92. Home	93. Meet	94. Snapshot	95. Pieces	96. Accomplish	97. Fly	98. Spark	99. Hug	100. Observe

Hello snowflake challenge participants and readers! Snowflake is quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of Dreamwidth. This challenge...

In your own space, create a list of at least three things you'd love to receive, a wishlist of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it and include a link to your wishlist if you feel comfortable doing so.

1) I loveeeeee user icons omg. I love them, collect em, and would love some of any of my fav things, which for reference are (some links to screencap sites included, ones I could find them for anyway)

The Orville (Charly, Alara, Solana, Kaylon Primary/Secondary/Tertiary/all 3, post-transition Topa, Claire, Kelly, Teleya; Kelly/&Teleya, Kelly&/Topa, Alara/&Solana),
Doom Patrol (if you can make me Negative Spirit icons, I would love ya forever, I've tried and I suck at it; also Valentina, Jane/underground alters (any), Isabel Feathers, sisterhood of dada girlies),
Palia (Elouisa, Caleri, Tish, Subira),
Star Trek Online (Zarva, T'Vrell, Elisa, Tovan, Rinna, Veril, Satra),
Pluribus (Zosia, Carol/Zosia),
Extraordinary (Jen),
Babylon 5 (Morden, Anna, Talia, Lyta, Neeoma, Kosh, Dureena; Kosh/Lyta, Dureena/Sarah)
Charmed 2018 (Macy, Maggie, Fiona, Charity)
Charmed 1998 (Prue, Prue/Cole)
Star Trek: LWD (Tendi, D'Erika, Beckett, Badgey; D'ERika&/D'Vana, Beckett/&Carol, Beckett & Tendi)

2) I'd love some more friends who are into the Orville stuff I mentioned, or any Orville femslash, female characters, or any Orville "dead dove"/darkfic enjoyers! I have very few people to talk about this with.

3) Comments on my fanfic--I write largely for the aforementioned things, and some other stuff too. I'm very rarepair centric, female character centric, femslash centric, minor character centric, and therefore I don't get a lot of comments :p

4) More personal sites to check out! Do you have a website or read the personal website of anyone cool? Drop it here below! And I have one too, let me know if you'd like to exchange buttons.

Thanks for readinggg!! :)

Alright so I lied I am not doing challenge 3 because I have written love letters to fandom many times before, so onto no 3:

Challenge #4: Rec The Contents Of Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!

OKAY, Linkspam time!!
( Read more... )

snowflake_challenge : Loosely defined! Post about your pets, pets from your canon, anything you want!

Oh man! I don't know about this one.

( Read more... )

I completely forgot

snowflake_challenge was going on! I am actually going to do every week this time trust meeeeeee <3 I'm only going to put the most recent one on reading, this is post 1 of 4

The Icebreaker Challenge: Introduce yourself. Tell us why you're doing the challenge, and what you hope to gain from it.

I'm Agnes! Or Agnes the Alien. Or Holiday. I'm a 24 year old writer and hobbyist artist and fannish coder! My main fannish projects are Sunset Archive (and my personal/friendslocked one, Symphony) , developing new features for the otwarchive code instances I run, fandom.cooking (which needs an update desperately I know, and static html shrines. I'm constantly deploying new things all the time, and most of my projects are fannish or writing based. I AM a professional writer too, but sshhh.

My fannish tastes include FEMSLASH!!!!

( Read more.. )

Happy 2026!

I'm still trying to get used to the fact that it's 2026. I've been having a real difficult time these past few months, and I've been very dissociative so it's hard for me to process the passage of time. But man, it's a new year, which means it's time to look back on the previous year's fanworks.

In 2025, I wrote 127.8k words. It was the first year I actually tracked every word I wrote, but I'm pretty sure it's the most productive year I've ever had. I'm really proud of myself for that. I have 6 pages of fic written in 2025, so instead of listing them all, I'll just list my favorites for each month.

( Read more... )

So yeah! There were my favorite fanworks of the year. I hope I have an even more productive 2026.

Happy New Years Eve, everyone! 2025 has been… filled with a lot of ups and downs, but it ended up being the best year of my life so far. I'm so grateful I stayed alive to see it!

In 2025, I finally started treatment for a 20-year-long treatment-resistant depression that actually worked. I had tried every widely available drug, including off-label usage, and still could only think about how much I wanted to die every day. Finally, I started a newer one, Auvelity in combination with ketamine treatment, and that's the thing that worked. Now I don't want to die! It can still be hard sometimes, but I am so, so proud of myself for hanging on and getting through it. I'm so glad I'm not 24/7 death anymore.

In 2025, I learned a goal that I have always wanted to: self-host my own websites. Goodbye Neocities! I just built my own personal website in Ruby on Rails. I self-host Archive of our Own and expanded the code to have new features. I host a bunch of different websites. I have always wanted to have the ability to do these things, but I never saw myself as capable enough to even try. A lot of this is due to encouragement from my wonderful friends—you know who you are. If you have helped, encouraged, guided, cheerleaded, or even listened to my ramblings on these silly nerd topics—thank you. Seriously.

In 2025, I found people who I trust to truly love and care for me. This is a feeling I haven't had since I was about 18. Many of my friends before were highly judgemental and mean to me--they also didn't even notice when I disappeared from my old social media accounts. (I don't have irl friends because I'm housebound lol). I feel like I have a solid group of friends now. I'm so grateful for each and every one of my friends—and for you all too even if we've never talked before!

In 2025, I got an amazing bird who I love to bits and pieces!! Gotta get her in for a nail trim. Love you, Saira.

In 2025, I wrote 127.8k words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the most productive year of writing I have ever had. A lot of it is because I started doing fic exchanges this year, and I've had so much fun with those!!

My 2025 has been great. I hope you have all had a wonderful 2025, and will have a wonderful 2026.

Sorry I haven't been on much; I've been sleeping 16-20 hours a day! I'm getting tested for narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia soon, I just keep having these attacks of sleepiness and then sleeping for hours and hours and hours. I've been trying to write and do fandom things but I just am struggling so much with it when I'm sleepy all the time :( but I hope you're all doing well!

I'm doing

10trueloves for Alara Kitan (The Orville) because I think it's such a cute idea... :3 I'm doing prompt table 9.

01.	Safe.	02.	Danger.	03.	Limits.	04.	Private.	05	Denial.
06.	Reality.	07.	Lies.	08.	Wound.	09.	Habits.	10.	Flaws.

✨ holiday love meme 2025 ✨
my thread here
you know the drill: comment with your username (any and all social media platforms welcome!) and people will anonymously reply to your thread with bits of encouragement, well wishes, declarations of undying devotion, etc.

always have so much fun with this one!!

elasticella is hosting sapphic stocking stuffers 2025...

Just wanted to promo this one because it's so fun and I really enjoyed it last year ^.^ Here's my stocking ;-)

I started this on my last account and never transferred it over here, but I'm still trying to work on my 100ships completion!! Here's the table:

#01 – Adamant	#02 – Snow	#03 – Lion	#04 – Spark	#05 – Amber
#06 – Lust	#07 – Bronze	#08 – Mint	#09 – Arctic	#10 – Black
#11 – Moonlight	#12 – Sunlight	#13 – Blue	#14 – Navy	#15 – Tea
#16 – Neon	#17 – Twilight	#18 – Blush	#19 – Wine	#20 – Nude
#21 – Rhythm	#22 – Brown	#23 – Linen	#24 – Ember	#25 – Thistle
#26 – Cherry	#27 – Orange	#28 – Vanilla	#29 – Bone	#30 – Harlequin
#31 – Cadet	#32 – Chocolate	#33 – Peach	#34 – Lead	#35 – Cream
#36 – Sand	#37 – White	#38 – Crimson	#39 – Pink	#40 – Ocean
#41 – Dove	#42 – Platinum	#43 – Yellow	#44 – Earth	#45 – Midnight
#46 – Pearl	#47 – Frostbite	#48 – Pumpkin	#49 – Electric	#50 – Purple
#51 – Coral	#52 – Salt	#53 – Crow	#54 – Rainbow	#55 – Cloud
#56 – Flame	#57 – Red	#58 – Ash	#59 – Rose	#60 – Slate
#61 – Green	#62 – Ruby	#63 – Olive	#64 – Lipstick	#65 – Spice
#66 – Grey	#67 – Denim	#68 – Rust	#69 – Flirt	#70 – Sunset
#71 – Sable	#72 – Desert	#73 – Jade	#74 – Sage	#75 – Buff
#76 – Jet	#77 – Plum	#78 – Leather	#79 – Liberty	#80 – Metal
#81 – Sepia	#82 – Lavender	#83 – Scarlet	#84 – Crystal	#85 – Chestnut
#86 – Shadow	#87 – Lemon	#88 – Mystic	#89 – Silver	#90 – Coffee
#91 – Seafoam	#92 – Lime	#93 – Punch	#94 – Pickle	#95 – Champagne
#96 – Copper	#97 – Bittersweet	#98 – Honey	#99 – Candy	#100 – Gold

Hello dw :)
( Personal )

( Fandom )

Current Mood: curious

Don't have much of an update right now, had a bad med reaction that is also entirely kinda my fault, so my brain isn't in a good place. But! I did want to promo a few things:

Rarest of Rarepairs, my ficathon for ships with 50 or less works on AO3, is still going on at

toothpastejuice !
Macrocest Bingo on Tumblr is back for another year. I had so much fun with it last year!

fandomtrees is going on! Going to try and do some fills when I have more energy. Here's my tree ;)
Been filling some wishes at

holiday_wishes . My wishlist is here. Let me know if you have one.

( Personal )

( Fandom )
That's it I think :)

Current Mood: cheerful

Fun meme, stolen from

maevedarcy :D

Go to your Works page on AO3, look at the tags, and see what the answers to these questions are. (Or any other site that has tags, I don’t know if FFnet or Wattpad does)

1. What rating do you write most fics under?

Teen & Up!

2. What are your top 3 fandoms?

Doom Patrol (81) (I've actually written around 250 DP fics but <3 not all are here)
The Orville (54)
Babylon 5 (20)

3. What is your top character you write about?
The Negative Spirit from Doom Patrol <3 Unsurprisingly! I'm in love with them!

I will not be doing my Squidge stats for this because it is embarrassing to me that Morden has a higher count than TNS does.

4. What are the 3 top pairings?

TNS/Larry (29)
TNS & Larry (23)
Alara Kitan/Solana Kitan (18)

On Squidge, where I was previously hosting much more of my fanworks at least the ones that weren't Problem Attic in nature:
Mr. Morden/Anna Sheridan (14)
Mr. Morden/OC (That's Viv!) (13)
Valentina/Her Spirit (6)

5. What are the top 3 additional tags?

( incest tw )

On Squidge, where I was previously hosting much more of my fanworks at least the ones that weren't Problem Attic in nature:
Drabble (20)
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (18)
community: femslashfete (17)

6. Did any of this surprise you? e.g. what turned out to be your top tag.
Yes! On AO3, I only have 20 b5 fics. On Squidge, I have EIGHTYONE!! It's because that's where I used to put my B5 fics I was too embarrassed for others to see. I need to get my 2nd otw-archive instance up so I can pile it all there.

Copypaste to your journal if you wanna play too:

Hello, happy week :)

( Personal )

( Fandom )

That's all for now, I think, DW!

Current Mood: tired

Rules: How many letters of the alphabet have you used for [starting] a fic title? One fic per line, ‘A’ and 'The’ do not count for 'a’ and ’t’. Post your score out of 26 at the end, along with your total fic count.

taken from

likealighthouse :p I have multiple fics under these so I'm just doing my favs

A - all the good in me is because of You (yellowjackets, laura lee/yj team)
B - but you were my prey (are you that somebody?) [psych, yang/shawn]
C - communication is architecture (the orville, primary/secondary/tertiary)
D - domino dancing (doom patrol, negative spirit character study)
E - electric desires (spongebob musical, karen/sandy)
F - Flashback, warm nights (doom patrol, isabel/laura)
G - Grandloves (yellowjackets, laura lee/lottie)
H - Heavy In Your Arms (the orville, alara/solana)
I - i want to touch you (but i don't remember how) (babylon 5, morden/anna)
J - just a young heart confusing my mind (the orville, kelly/topa)
K - keep your proud head from falling (the orville, drenala/solana)
L - lemon meringue triptych (the orville, alara/solana) (i don't know why i called it this)
M - man made natural disaster (babylon 5, morden)
N - nightmares in our dreams (babylon 5, anna sheridan/anna sheridan)
O - objects in mirror (the orville, kelly/lt kelly/teleya)
P - psychic city, heartbeat city (doom patrol, jane/hammerhead)
Q -
R - real gold in my hands (the orville, kelly/teleya)
S - said, "do you feel it when you cut me?" (the orville, charly/primary)
T - ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you) (babylon 5, morden/anna)
U - up from electrical (the orville, isaac & primary)
V
W - whispers around the trees (give me your hand) (doom patrol, tns/larry)
X
Y - you can come inside, unlock the door, take off your shoes (but this might take all night) (i saw the tv glow, owen/maddy)
Z

22/26! I need to figure out some X, Q and Z words...

Current Mood: artistic

Hello all! From now on, I will be separating each new update between personal life and fandom stuff so you can choose.

TW for personal: medication, mental health (not bad)

( Personal )

( Fandom )

That's all for now. Thanks for reading :)

Current Mood: accomplished

Profile

Agnes

January 2026

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4	5	6	7	8	9	10
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18	19	20	21	22	23	24
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Active Entries

1: Thoughts on Starfleet Academy ep 1 (SPOILERS BEWARE)
2: Snowflake challenge '26, 1
3: Snowflake Challenge '26, 5
4: Snowflake challenge '26, 4
5: 2025 fanwork wrapup
6: 2026!
7: sighh
8: holiday loveee
9: promoing some cool stuff
10: let me take your hands i'm shaking like milk

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Agnes

Recent Entries

Sticky: intro, redux.

Thoughts on Starfleet Academy ep 1 (SPOILERS BEWARE)

100 femslash prompt table

Snowflake Challenge '26, 5

Snowflake challenge '26, 4

Snowflake challenge '26, 2: a stupid ramble

Snowflake challenge '26, 1

2025 fanwork wrapup

2026!

sighh

10trueloves prompt table -

holiday loveee

promo :3

100ships

you're the only one i wanna talk about

promoing some cool stuff

let me take your hands i'm shaking like milk

Fic stats meme

what's that in the sky? flying by?

fic title meme :P

And I keep pulling more out of the bag like I'm Mary Poppins