Fannish 50 #4: How I Got Into Fandom...
Dec. 5th, 2024 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toothpastepancake(Note: our system has had many hosts and those hosts with many different interests over our lifetime; "I" refers to the system collectively here).
I was born autistic and disabled and had an isolated childhood due to that, so I pretty much was predisposed to become Really Obsessed With Media. Growing up, my favorite tv show was Psych, which I had been watching since season 1 in 2006 (when I was 5!!!). It was my first special interest, and I was obsessively obsessed with it until I found Estonian pop music in 2011 and my special interest switched to that. Psych was my first love growing up---and Juliet was one of my first gay crushes---but I didn't really join fandom until Doctor Who in 2012.
I had just found Tumblr again after I signed up in 2010 to post fun little icons I made because people had been making fun of mine on Deviantart, but this time I was following some of my friends I found on a now-defunct online forum for a magazine for girls I used to edit for, called New Moon Girls. NMG was my Tumblr for the first few years of my life, until I actually found Tumblr Tumblr and moved on. This was around the time that the "SuperWhoLock" (short for Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock, which had massively huge and overlapping fandoms at the time) fandom was popular, so I started watching those shows because I wanted to understand them. Doctor Who was my first step into science fiction, which would change my life forever afterwards.
I got a little bit obsessed with Doctor Who. Just a little bit. By the end of 2013, I had an entirely Doctor Who themed bedroom, Christmas tree, and wardrobe. I wasn't just a New Who fan, my favorite aspect of the show was Classic and EU material. Doctor Who was my first fandom, my first love, my first everything. The first fanfic I ever wrote was Doctor Who self insert fic with a female Twelfth Doctor (before Capaldi's casting).
In May 2013, I attended Phoenix Comic Con for the first time. That would be the year of Babylon 5's 20th anniversary reunion panel, which I attended before I watched the show and had no idea how lucky I was to be there. I slept through the panel! My dad had dragged me there because he was a fan. After I got home, I turned on season 1 and was hooked. Babylon 5 would then become an on-and-off interest over my lifetime, which would then culminate in another insane obsession around 2022-onward, where I would meet so many amazing people. That year of 2013, Star Trek Into Darkness would come out as well, cementing in my science fiction obsession and leading me towards other Star Treks. This was the year that Romulan faction of Star Trek: Online was released also, a game I have played religiously since its release that means so much to me. (Seriously, the Romulan storyline is so good.)
I was also obsessed with Supernatural, though not to the extent of Doctor Who, and specifically the ladies. I loved Naomi, Abbadon, Ruby, Lilith, Meg, Jo, Claire, Bela and Charlie SO MUCH. I wouldn't find lesbianism until 2019, I had no idea what I was experiencing was being a lesbian, but as much as I loved Destiel, I really loved the (way too miniscule) femslash in the show more than anything. My favorite ship was Ruby x Lilith, they were everything to me. Supernatural adjusted me to fandom spaces even more, and got me into supernatural/paranormal themed shows, which meant that when I would watch Buffy a year later, it would become my second biggest obsession since Doctor Who.
Buffy was where I truly began to enter fandom. I was writing fanfiction, making icons and graphics, making fandom event weeks (Shoutout to Spangel week 2014!!!) before I knew how they really even worked, and burning episodes onto DVDs I would then share with family members or NMG friends. Spike/Angel was my first huge ship obsession, and I'm... Honestly, Buffy is the only one of my past interests I no longer feel any attachment to whatsoever. But it was deeply important to me at 13. It brought me to Ao3, it brought me to Tumblr. For a while I was the only active Spike/Angel blog on there, and I was hiding my age so... I feel bad for all the adult friends I had in the fandom who had nooo idea I was freshly 13 :P.
Buffy was what unlocked my brain's full ability to become obsessed with media. After that I became obsessed with Gravity Falls and then, after Gravity Falls ended, Shadowhunters. Shadowhunters was where I first began to become obsessed with specific characters---while season one was premiering, I deeply was in love with Raphael Santiago, to a heavily unwell extent. He was my Negative Spirit before Doom Patrol, the very first love of my fictosexual life, so much so that when he got a love interest in season 2, I freaked out and had to stop watching.
...As I write this I realize how unhinged it sounds. I was really young when most of this happened, unable to go to school because of severe bullying and my physical disability, which wouldn't be taken seriously or diagnosed until 17. I didn't have much in my life besides fandom. Honestly, I still don't, and I'm still trying to balance out IRL life and fandom stuff, though I'm much better at managing the distinction as of late, now that I Actually Have A Life.
These days I find that my media obsessions are less intense than they used to be, which is a good sign I think, since my obsessions used to be so intense that they were unhealthy. I'm not a casual fan of TO/B5/DPTV by any means, but I'm able to also think about real life circumstances the same amount as fandom, whereas TV used to Literally Consume My Entire Brain. I have a much healthier relationship with media now than before.
I'm getting super tired now so I'll stop there, but I haven't written a Fannish 50 post in a while, so I wanted to write one again. Fandom has been there for me throughout my entire life, always my biggest coping mechanism. Despite our turbulent relationship, it still means a lot to me.
I was born autistic and disabled and had an isolated childhood due to that, so I pretty much was predisposed to become Really Obsessed With Media. Growing up, my favorite tv show was Psych, which I had been watching since season 1 in 2006 (when I was 5!!!). It was my first special interest, and I was obsessively obsessed with it until I found Estonian pop music in 2011 and my special interest switched to that. Psych was my first love growing up---and Juliet was one of my first gay crushes---but I didn't really join fandom until Doctor Who in 2012.
I had just found Tumblr again after I signed up in 2010 to post fun little icons I made because people had been making fun of mine on Deviantart, but this time I was following some of my friends I found on a now-defunct online forum for a magazine for girls I used to edit for, called New Moon Girls. NMG was my Tumblr for the first few years of my life, until I actually found Tumblr Tumblr and moved on. This was around the time that the "SuperWhoLock" (short for Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock, which had massively huge and overlapping fandoms at the time) fandom was popular, so I started watching those shows because I wanted to understand them. Doctor Who was my first step into science fiction, which would change my life forever afterwards.
I got a little bit obsessed with Doctor Who. Just a little bit. By the end of 2013, I had an entirely Doctor Who themed bedroom, Christmas tree, and wardrobe. I wasn't just a New Who fan, my favorite aspect of the show was Classic and EU material. Doctor Who was my first fandom, my first love, my first everything. The first fanfic I ever wrote was Doctor Who self insert fic with a female Twelfth Doctor (before Capaldi's casting).
In May 2013, I attended Phoenix Comic Con for the first time. That would be the year of Babylon 5's 20th anniversary reunion panel, which I attended before I watched the show and had no idea how lucky I was to be there. I slept through the panel! My dad had dragged me there because he was a fan. After I got home, I turned on season 1 and was hooked. Babylon 5 would then become an on-and-off interest over my lifetime, which would then culminate in another insane obsession around 2022-onward, where I would meet so many amazing people. That year of 2013, Star Trek Into Darkness would come out as well, cementing in my science fiction obsession and leading me towards other Star Treks. This was the year that Romulan faction of Star Trek: Online was released also, a game I have played religiously since its release that means so much to me. (Seriously, the Romulan storyline is so good.)
I was also obsessed with Supernatural, though not to the extent of Doctor Who, and specifically the ladies. I loved Naomi, Abbadon, Ruby, Lilith, Meg, Jo, Claire, Bela and Charlie SO MUCH. I wouldn't find lesbianism until 2019, I had no idea what I was experiencing was being a lesbian, but as much as I loved Destiel, I really loved the (way too miniscule) femslash in the show more than anything. My favorite ship was Ruby x Lilith, they were everything to me. Supernatural adjusted me to fandom spaces even more, and got me into supernatural/paranormal themed shows, which meant that when I would watch Buffy a year later, it would become my second biggest obsession since Doctor Who.
Buffy was where I truly began to enter fandom. I was writing fanfiction, making icons and graphics, making fandom event weeks (Shoutout to Spangel week 2014!!!) before I knew how they really even worked, and burning episodes onto DVDs I would then share with family members or NMG friends. Spike/Angel was my first huge ship obsession, and I'm... Honestly, Buffy is the only one of my past interests I no longer feel any attachment to whatsoever. But it was deeply important to me at 13. It brought me to Ao3, it brought me to Tumblr. For a while I was the only active Spike/Angel blog on there, and I was hiding my age so... I feel bad for all the adult friends I had in the fandom who had nooo idea I was freshly 13 :P.
Buffy was what unlocked my brain's full ability to become obsessed with media. After that I became obsessed with Gravity Falls and then, after Gravity Falls ended, Shadowhunters. Shadowhunters was where I first began to become obsessed with specific characters---while season one was premiering, I deeply was in love with Raphael Santiago, to a heavily unwell extent. He was my Negative Spirit before Doom Patrol, the very first love of my fictosexual life, so much so that when he got a love interest in season 2, I freaked out and had to stop watching.
...As I write this I realize how unhinged it sounds. I was really young when most of this happened, unable to go to school because of severe bullying and my physical disability, which wouldn't be taken seriously or diagnosed until 17. I didn't have much in my life besides fandom. Honestly, I still don't, and I'm still trying to balance out IRL life and fandom stuff, though I'm much better at managing the distinction as of late, now that I Actually Have A Life.
These days I find that my media obsessions are less intense than they used to be, which is a good sign I think, since my obsessions used to be so intense that they were unhealthy. I'm not a casual fan of TO/B5/DPTV by any means, but I'm able to also think about real life circumstances the same amount as fandom, whereas TV used to Literally Consume My Entire Brain. I have a much healthier relationship with media now than before.
I'm getting super tired now so I'll stop there, but I haven't written a Fannish 50 post in a while, so I wanted to write one again. Fandom has been there for me throughout my entire life, always my biggest coping mechanism. Despite our turbulent relationship, it still means a lot to me.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-06 02:10 am (UTC)I keep meaning to get into Buffy, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea, haha.
I'm glad you're finding a better balance with life and fandom. I think I'm in a similar place where its served its purpose as a total refuge and now I get to branch beyond it a little. This makes me want to chronicle my own fandom past for the memories.