Agnes

sleeping for all 3 weeks for dreamwidth probably

2026-04-28T23:20:58Z

Hey all! I've been meaning to post more on here, but I have been asleep pretty much at all times. More on that below :')

( Personal )

( Fandom )

<3

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i'm just waiting for something cruel to happen.🎵

2026-04-07T06:50:45Z

Hey, DW. Back to my usual format of splitting up fandom and personal stuff that I. Forgot. To do last time :') By the way, thank you all for the kind comments. I forget to reply and then time passes and I feel like replying after weeks and weeks would be... awkward. But I do see them!! They mean the world to me, thank you.

( Personal )

( Fandom (pregnancy mention tw) )

Putting these outside the cuts for evil promo purposes:

Sunset, the fanfiction archive I run for femslash and sapphic ships, is hosting its first exchange (not by me!) You can check out the info at ca_sunset_exchange . Nominations are currently open. Please have fun with us!

likealighthouse is doing an iconathon. I'm so excited for it! It's been really fun so far.

Happy timezone, DW.

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New comm!

2026-03-19T04:12:16Z

A fellow Nahleb shipper has made a comm for Nahla fans, controversial SFA ships, and Nahleb/Nahla/Caleb stuff! If you're into that, come hang out at nahlas_office !

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heyyy guysssss

2026-03-10T23:05:28Z

Hi Dreamwidth!

( Personal )

( Fandom )

Oh! Posting this outside of the cut for promo reasons >:) Sunset is doing our first prompt meme! If you're on Sunset, come drop a few prompts and maybe pick up a few ;) If you're NOT on Sunset and love femslash, check us out!

That's all for now. See ya :)

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toothpastepancake @ 2026-03-10T04:44:00

2026-03-10T08:45:19Z

I am stupid and rm -rf'd (deleted forever) Symphony instead of my development instance, so. Working on reuploading everything that was on there.

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february events roundup & update

2026-03-01T21:08:35Z

( Personal )

( Fandom )

( beagoldfish fills )
( Fresh Femslash Salad Bar Fills )

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halfway through femslash february and i'm staying silly

2026-02-19T02:30:49Z

HEY dw. Trying to post on here more, especially since the state of my fandoms on other social medias are really stressful. I check dreamwidth multiple times a day but I don't.... Post... so I'm trying to change that.

Doing a lot better than my last post. Honestly I didn't realize how depressing and overshare-y it was until I reread it, and I think that says a lot about how much I dissociate lmao. Anyway, shit has been hard but I'm slowly putting myself back together, I guess. Life has been slightly more bearable. Valentine's day was wonderful. The weather is starting to warm up a bit, so I've been writing in my yard each day, and I've really missed having the ability to go outside.

I've been working a lot on my femslash february salad bar fics. I've gotten four done so far, 3 regular mode and 1 hard mode. I chose the exact word counts for hard mode as a self-challenge but I think it just ended up being more intimidating, whoops. I'm still enjoying the event immensely!! Yayyyy!!!!! I hope to work on some of my other stuff soon, like 10trueloves and my 100femslash table (which I'm so happy to see taking off!!!)

I did end up signing up for Space Swap and I plan to do High Adrenaline too because I love it so much.

I've been so obsessive/escapist over SFA that it led me to neglect both my original works and the work I was doing on my personal site. I've only just now started to get back into working on web development stuff. I have some fun Otwarchive stuff planned to work on when I get a development instance set up again...

I think that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well.

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MAN.

2026-02-10T14:51:48Z

Hey DW.

Things have been hard for me lately. I've been really obsessed with Starfleet Academy since I posted my review of it... and this is my first active, popular fandom in... oh... maybe a decade? And, of course, I'm someone who typically gravitates towards problematic/taboo ships, and I've gotten a lot of hate for being into Nahla/Caleb. (For a few days I actually thought it would be popular. Silly me!) I know, I know, antis are stupid and just block them, but I'm incredibly sensitive and I also already have lost quite a few friends due to a social media misunderstanding, plus I had to cut off my ex best friend for personal reasons, so I'm just... feeling very much like there's no place in the world I fit in. I'm starting to go in to situations assuming I will never be accepted and that the rug can and will be pulled out from underneath me at any moment. I find myself wondering why I didn't come to that conclusion earlier.

Also, I don't want to go into it, but the Current Events with certain documents? (under cut for tw; not graphic but the very topic is enough to trigger me, and this is very negative)

( Read more... )

Anyway, SFA has been a really big coping mechanism for me lately in regards to these events--Nahla/Caleb specifically is helping me cope with some shit, which I don't wanna go into for severely personal reasons, so to be hated on for how I enjoy this show when I am using it in this manner? It really hurts. I've been implied to be an ICE supporter, a child abuse supporter... I just can't handle it.

I find it difficult to be online, but my entire life is online. I have no friends IRL and no way to leave my house or usually bed because of my disability. I can only socialize through the internet---no other ways of socialization are accessible to me. So to have these agonies (not just the anti stuff, but the News In General) be everywhere, and the only feasible solution to having to see it be unplugging entirely... it's hard! And also I don't want to be the person who indulges in escapism at the detriment of staying informed and aware. But man. It's just. I don't know. Discord is doing a thing where it's making every single person do a face scan or ID upload and several of my friends are telling me goodbye because they don't want to do that (completely understandable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and that's. The main place I talk to my friends on. :(

I think I need to take a break from exchanges. I've had to default a lot recently. I really want to do Space Swap and HA but I think I need to focus on myself for a while. And it sucks because HA is my favorite exchange :/ We'll see if I can miraculously stop feeling awful by the time SpaSwap signups end.

Anyway, I care for you all deeply. Hope you're all well. <3

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Fresh Femslash Salad Bar!!! 2026

2026-02-01T08:13:44Z

elasticella's fresh femslash salad bar is one of my favorite events of the entire year, and i'm so excited to do both a regular and hard mode table this yearrrr! here are my tables :D

Hard Mode uses Opposites II, Verbs & word count fun sized!

Regular Mode uses Kinks II (with Wax Play, Praise kink, bondage and Piercing Play from Kinks I.), Relationship Style Rice (replacing Rivals to Lovers with Polyamory), and Beats (CYO). I chose songs from my favorite albums (two from each: Intimacy by Bloc Party; Hospice by the Antlers; Exciter by Depeche Mode; Shrines by Purity Ring; Daughter in the Choir by Meg Myers) for the beats table. Hopefully that is not too much customization :p

HARD MODE

toothpastepancake's hard mode salad bar

salad 1	~~Love & Indifference, Remove, & 111 words (filled here~~)
salad 2	Optimistic & Pessimistic, Scream, & 6969 words
salad 3	East & West, Survive, & 444 words
salad 4	Inedible & Delicious, Contract, & 333 words
salad 5	Fantasy & Reality, Effect, & 1111 words
salad 6	Rare & Frequent, Stir, & 1234 words
salad 7	Seeds & Flowers, Outline, & 2222 words
salad 8	Flexible & Rigid, Charge, & 420 words
salad 9	Sensational & Numbness, Give, & 3333 words
salad 10	Exhausted & Refreshed, Freeze, & 123 words

REGULAR MODE

toothpastepancake''s regular mode salad bar

salad 1	~~Enemies that Fuck, Boot Kink, I have been wicked / I have been~~ ~~arrogant~~ ~~(filled~~ ~~here~~)
salad 2	Enemies to lovers, Overstimulation, death and living reconciled
salad 3	~~Polyamory, Bondage,~~ ~~i'm only here to bring you free love~~ ~~(filled~~ ~~here~~)
salad 4	Friends with Benefits, Squirting, maybe we're looking for the same thing
salad 5	~~Unrequited, Dubcon/Noncon,~~ f~~reezing~~, infected, and rigid in that room inside her (filled ~~here~~)
salad 6	~~Infidelity, Piercing Play, when I was checking vitals, I suggested a~~ ~~smile~~ ~~(filled~~ ~~here~~)
salad 7	Established Relationship, Tentacles, the past is strong, strong, strong
salad 8	Exes, Wax Play, our pumping earthly hearts
salad 9	Friends to Lovers, Dom/sub, let go; i'm ready for it
salad 10	Mentorship, Praise Kink, This moment shaking in my hands

Loving seeing other people's salad bars too!!!!

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Thoughts on Starfleet Academy ep 1 (SPOILERS BEWARE)

2026-01-16T17:43:51Z

So! I watched Starfleet Academy last night. Only episode 1, because I'm watching with my mom who only does one "stressful" episode of anything a day, lol. I have lots of thoughts. In 2017 I got obsessed with the Kelvinverse Starfleet Academy minicomic, so I have been waiting for a Starfleet Academy series for NINE ENTIRE YEARS. It came... not in the way I expected.

SPOILERS BELOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

( Read more... )

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100 femslash prompt table

2026-01-12T19:29:06Z

I am here to a) promote my new community 100femslash and b) post my table for that community!


1. Golden	2. Eyes	3. Spiral	4. Beauty	5. Rose	6. Lost	7. Real	8. Touch	9. Stars	10. `Contrast
11. Crystal	12. Realize	13. Past	14. Forget	15. Drink	16. Locked	17. Lies	18. Outfit	19. Freedom	20. Create
21. More	22. Dream	23. Hair	24. Soft	25. Love	26. Dark	27. Sweet	28. Belief	29. Red	30. Broken
31. Night	32. Music	33. Linger	34. First	35. Spy	36. Origin	37. Fire	38. Rest	39. Pair	40. Comfort
41. Play	42. Party	43. Color	44. Divide	45. Escape	46. Rainbow	47. Desire	48. Grow	49. Seek	50. Art
51. Shift	52. Yearn	53. Treasure	54. Proud	55. Warning	56. Tempt	57. Old	58. Decide	59. Protect	60. Eat
61. Time	62. Circle	63. Skill	64. Offer	65. Union	66. Fix	67. Watch	68. Train	69. Monster	70. Heal
71. Pet	72. Dirty	73. Lace	74. Texture	75. Moon	76. Alone	77. Reunite	78. Anger	79. Planet	80. Hate
81. Ascend	82. Beat	83. Violet	84. Obscure	85. Trick	86. Unravel	87. Amaze	88. Speak	89. Fantasy	90. Stand
91. Halt	92. Home	93. Meet	94. Snapshot	95. Pieces	96. Accomplish	97. Fly	98. Spark	99. Hug	100. Observe

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Snowflake Challenge '26, 5

2026-01-09T18:12:16Z

Hello snowflake challenge participants and readers! Snowflake is quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of Dreamwidth. This challenge...

In your own space, create a list of at least three things you'd love to receive, a wishlist of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it and include a link to your wishlist if you feel comfortable doing so.

1) I loveeeeee user icons omg. I love them, collect em, and would love some of any of my fav things, which for reference are (some links to screencap sites included, ones I could find them for anyway)

The Orville (Charly, Alara, Solana, Kaylon Primary/Secondary/Tertiary/all 3, post-transition Topa, Claire, Kelly, Teleya; Kelly/&Teleya, Kelly&/Topa, Alara/&Solana),
Doom Patrol (if you can make me Negative Spirit icons, I would love ya forever, I've tried and I suck at it; also Valentina, Jane/underground alters (any), Isabel Feathers, sisterhood of dada girlies),
Palia (Elouisa, Caleri, Tish, Subira),
Star Trek Online (Zarva, T'Vrell, Elisa, Tovan, Rinna, Veril, Satra),
Pluribus (Zosia, Carol/Zosia),
Extraordinary (Jen),
Babylon 5 (Morden, Anna, Talia, Lyta, Neeoma, Kosh, Dureena; Kosh/Lyta, Dureena/Sarah)
Charmed 2018 (Macy, Maggie, Fiona, Charity)
Charmed 1998 (Prue, Prue/Cole)
Star Trek: LWD (Tendi, D'Erika, Beckett, Badgey; D'ERika&/D'Vana, Beckett/&Carol, Beckett & Tendi)

2) I'd love some more friends who are into the Orville stuff I mentioned, or any Orville femslash, female characters, or any Orville "dead dove"/darkfic enjoyers! I have very few people to talk about this with.

3) Comments on my fanfic--I write largely for the aforementioned things, and some other stuff too. I'm very rarepair centric, female character centric, femslash centric, minor character centric, and therefore I don't get a lot of comments :p

4) More personal sites to check out! Do you have a website or read the personal website of anyone cool? Drop it here below! And I have one too, let me know if you'd like to exchange buttons.

Thanks for readinggg!! :)

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Snowflake challenge '26, 4

2026-01-08T00:14:46Z

Alright so I lied I am not doing challenge 3 because I have written love letters to fandom many times before, so onto no 3:

Challenge #4: Rec The Contents Of Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!

OKAY, Linkspam time!!
( Read more... )

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2025 fanwork wrapup

2026-01-06T04:06:58Z

Happy 2026!

I'm still trying to get used to the fact that it's 2026. I've been having a real difficult time these past few months, and I've been very dissociative so it's hard for me to process the passage of time. But man, it's a new year, which means it's time to look back on the previous year's fanworks.

In 2025, I wrote 127.8k words. It was the first year I actually tracked every word I wrote, but I'm pretty sure it's the most productive year I've ever had. I'm really proud of myself for that. I have 6 pages of fic written in 2025, so instead of listing them all, I'll just list my favorites for each month.

( Read more... )

So yeah! There were my favorite fanworks of the year. I hope I have an even more productive 2026.

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2026!

2025-12-31T08:53:28Z

Happy New Years Eve, everyone! 2025 has been… filled with a lot of ups and downs, but it ended up being the best year of my life so far. I'm so grateful I stayed alive to see it!

In 2025, I finally started treatment for a 20-year-long treatment-resistant depression that actually worked. I had tried every widely available drug, including off-label usage, and still could only think about how much I wanted to die every day. Finally, I started a newer one, Auvelity in combination with ketamine treatment, and that's the thing that worked. Now I don't want to die! It can still be hard sometimes, but I am so, so proud of myself for hanging on and getting through it. I'm so glad I'm not 24/7 death anymore.

In 2025, I learned a goal that I have always wanted to: self-host my own websites. Goodbye Neocities! I just built my own personal website in Ruby on Rails. I self-host Archive of our Own and expanded the code to have new features. I host a bunch of different websites. I have always wanted to have the ability to do these things, but I never saw myself as capable enough to even try. A lot of this is due to encouragement from my wonderful friends—you know who you are. If you have helped, encouraged, guided, cheerleaded, or even listened to my ramblings on these silly nerd topics—thank you. Seriously.

In 2025, I found people who I trust to truly love and care for me. This is a feeling I haven't had since I was about 18. Many of my friends before were highly judgemental and mean to me--they also didn't even notice when I disappeared from my old social media accounts. (I don't have irl friends because I'm housebound lol). I feel like I have a solid group of friends now. I'm so grateful for each and every one of my friends—and for you all too even if we've never talked before!

In 2025, I got an amazing bird who I love to bits and pieces!! Gotta get her in for a nail trim. Love you, Saira.

In 2025, I wrote 127.8k words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the most productive year of writing I have ever had. A lot of it is because I started doing fic exchanges this year, and I've had so much fun with those!!

My 2025 has been great. I hope you have all had a wonderful 2025, and will have a wonderful 2026.

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sighh

2025-12-10T10:06:03Z

Sorry I haven't been on much; I've been sleeping 16-20 hours a day! I'm getting tested for narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia soon, I just keep having these attacks of sleepiness and then sleeping for hours and hours and hours. I've been trying to write and do fandom things but I just am struggling so much with it when I'm sleepy all the time :( but I hope you're all doing well!

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holiday loveee

2025-11-27T23:11:30Z

✨ holiday love meme 2025 ✨
my thread here
you know the drill: comment with your username (any and all social media platforms welcome!) and people will anonymously reply to your thread with bits of encouragement, well wishes, declarations of undying devotion, etc.

always have so much fun with this one!!

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promo :3

2025-11-26T21:45:39Z

elasticella is hosting sapphic stocking stuffers 2025...

Just wanted to promo this one because it's so fun and I really enjoyed it last year ^.^ Here's my stocking ;-)

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you're the only one i wanna talk about

2025-11-23T05:56:59Z

Hello dw :)
( Personal )

( Fandom )

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promoing some cool stuff

2025-11-18T06:25:17Z

Don't have much of an update right now, had a bad med reaction that is also entirely kinda my fault, so my brain isn't in a good place. But! I did want to promo a few things:

Rarest of Rarepairs, my ficathon for ships with 50 or less works on AO3, is still going on at toothpastejuice !
Macrocest Bingo on Tumblr is back for another year. I had so much fun with it last year!
fandomtrees is going on! Going to try and do some fills when I have more energy. Here's my tree ;)
Been filling some wishes at holiday_wishes . My wishlist is here. Let me know if you have one.

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let me take your hands i'm shaking like milk

2025-11-13T08:58:02Z

( Personal )

( Fandom )
That's it I think :)

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Fic stats meme

2025-11-04T07:30:57Z

Fun meme, stolen from maevedarcy :D

Go to your Works page on AO3, look at the tags, and see what the answers to these questions are. (Or any other site that has tags, I don’t know if FFnet or Wattpad does)

1. What rating do you write most fics under?

Teen & Up!

2. What are your top 3 fandoms?

Doom Patrol (81) (I've actually written around 250 DP fics but <3 not all are here)
The Orville (54)
Babylon 5 (20)

3. What is your top character you write about?
The Negative Spirit from Doom Patrol <3 Unsurprisingly! I'm in love with them!

I will not be doing my Squidge stats for this because it is embarrassing to me that Morden has a higher count than TNS does.

4. What are the 3 top pairings?

TNS/Larry (29)
TNS & Larry (23)
Alara Kitan/Solana Kitan (18)

On Squidge, where I was previously hosting much more of my fanworks at least the ones that weren't Problem Attic in nature:
Mr. Morden/Anna Sheridan (14)
Mr. Morden/OC (That's Viv!) (13)
Valentina/Her Spirit (6)

5. What are the top 3 additional tags?

( incest tw )

On Squidge, where I was previously hosting much more of my fanworks at least the ones that weren't Problem Attic in nature:
Drabble (20)
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (18)
community: femslashfete (17)

6. Did any of this surprise you? e.g. what turned out to be your top tag.
Yes! On AO3, I only have 20 b5 fics. On Squidge, I have EIGHTYONE!! It's because that's where I used to put my B5 fics I was too embarrassed for others to see. I need to get my 2nd otw-archive instance up so I can pile it all there.

Copypaste to your journal if you wanna play too:

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what's that in the sky? flying by?

2025-10-29T05:44:33Z

Hello, happy week :)

( Personal )

( Fandom )

That's all for now, I think, DW!

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fic title meme :P

2025-10-23T04:58:35Z

Rules: How many letters of the alphabet have you used for [starting] a fic title? One fic per line, ‘A’ and 'The’ do not count for 'a’ and ’t’. Post your score out of 26 at the end, along with your total fic count.

taken from likealighthouse :p I have multiple fics under these so I'm just doing my favs

A - all the good in me is because of You (yellowjackets, laura lee/yj team)
B - but you were my prey (are you that somebody?) [psych, yang/shawn]
C - communication is architecture (the orville, primary/secondary/tertiary)
D - domino dancing (doom patrol, negative spirit character study)
E - electric desires (spongebob musical, karen/sandy)
F - Flashback, warm nights (doom patrol, isabel/laura)
G - Grandloves (yellowjackets, laura lee/lottie)
H - Heavy In Your Arms (the orville, alara/solana)
I - i want to touch you (but i don't remember how) (babylon 5, morden/anna)
J - just a young heart confusing my mind (the orville, kelly/topa)
K - keep your proud head from falling (the orville, drenala/solana)
L - lemon meringue triptych (the orville, alara/solana) (i don't know why i called it this)
M - man made natural disaster (babylon 5, morden)
N - nightmares in our dreams (babylon 5, anna sheridan/anna sheridan)
O - objects in mirror (the orville, kelly/lt kelly/teleya)
P - psychic city, heartbeat city (doom patrol, jane/hammerhead)
Q -
R - real gold in my hands (the orville, kelly/teleya)
S - said, "do you feel it when you cut me?" (the orville, charly/primary)
T - ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you) (babylon 5, morden/anna)
U - up from electrical (the orville, isaac & primary)
V
W - whispers around the trees (give me your hand) (doom patrol, tns/larry)
X
Y - you can come inside, unlock the door, take off your shoes (but this might take all night) (i saw the tv glow, owen/maddy)
Z

22/26! I need to figure out some X, Q and Z words...

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And I keep pulling more out of the bag like I'm Mary Poppins

2025-10-21T01:46:45Z

Hello all! From now on, I will be separating each new update between personal life and fandom stuff so you can choose.

TW for personal: medication, mental health (not bad)

( Personal )

( Fandom )

That's all for now. Thanks for reading :)

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