heyyy guysssss
Mar. 10th, 2026 06:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toothpastepancakeHi Dreamwidth!
I've been focusing a lot on self-hosting again. OTW-Archive hyperfixation back in full force :p I got my personal archive back up after accidentally deleting the folder on the server and I'm working on reuploading fics to it! I had like 80 fics on there. It's gonna take a bit. I also deployed a clone of this site, Dreamwidth, at MourningDove! I doubt anyone wants an account since they're reading this on Dreamwidth but if you do just let me know. I basically did it to see if I could do it lol. I might switch the super duper personal posting there, and my system members are going to be using that instead now too. I'm pretty proud of myself; at the same time, Dreamwidth was the Big Project I was planning on after AO3, so it's kind of like, what do I focus on now?
Reuploading those fics and upgrading otwarchive I guess. But now, after accidentally deleting it, I am TERRIFIED to touch anything :( I have so many ideas too but I am just so scared I'll accidentally nuke Sunset. Yeah I'm setting up backups. But like. Setting up OTW-Archive instances in general is a real pain :/ Like I could get it back but it'd be exhausting so I'm going to try and not do that. Running Sunset though rocky has meant everything to me.
Anyway, I've been... Struggling lately but finally getting better. I got my Ketamine therapy upped to 2x per week, and I think that's been really helpful. I hate spending 4 hours a week there but it's the only thing that helps my depression lmao. I haven't been doing much lately. I do plan on trying school on campus next semester because I just. I need to make friends I'm so lonely lol. I'm currently planning on doing web development because I just. Love web development. Though they don't offer that at my CC so technically my program is "transfer studies" lolz. Please pray that I meet people who want to be my friend and talk to me because frankly I'm going insane :P
I keep thinking about how much I want to stop doing mainstream fandom (e.g. tumblr/twitter). But I can only keep up with certain friends that way. I've limited my entire Tumblr sphere to trusted friends and I'm still getting exhausted by it. (The amount of Nahleb hate in the SFA tag is exhausting, and unnecessary when there are only 3 or 4 of us. Fandom etiquette is dead.) I'm tired of being seen as a bad person for how I like to play with toys. I'm tired of being targeted. I find myself wanting to focus on original works a bit more, but I have some sort of block that keeps me from doing anything besides fanfiction. Its pretty frustrating, because I really DO LOVE FANDOM!! I DO!! But the People in it. The harassment, the bullying... Idk, it's not cool. I want to keep up with my friends but that means I have to see 3394989494949 Posts every day calling people like me subhuman :/
I much prefer Dreamwidth for fandom spaces, but then, I'm so much younger than most and I feel like people don't give me a chance because of it. I can't really blame them either. Like, most people in fandom my age ARE discourse machines, which is fucking stupid!!! You're ruining it for the rest of us!!! But even if I understand, it still hurts. It feels like there isn't anywhere I really fit in - even in the spaces I have established myself. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Instead everything feels temporary :/
Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy: on the more fandomy fandom side of things I'm in a bit of an exchanges break. I've lost momentum for them at the moment. But! I am thinking of potentially running Sunset's first exchange in a little while. If anyone would like to help me mod it, I'd appreciate some help but no pressure of course. I have a lot of plans for Sunset going forward and I'd like to build it into a real community, not just an archive for people to put their fics on when AO3 is down. Femslash fans and sapphics in fandom deserve spaces to meet likeminded people and to find things that are about femslash first and foremost, and if I can help cultivate a space that brings femslash to more people??? That's my goal forever and ever. So I'm trying to figure out what I want to do there, and trying to develop a roadmap of sorts.
I'm kinda sad Battleship isn't running this year and I have the insane idea of doing Sunset Battleship or something similar....
Been working on my 10trueloves challenge and GYWO Yahtzee! The latter of which I struggle to understand but am having fun with. Though I admit I haven't done much writing at all this month so far. I've been stuck in OTWArchive hyperfixation again.
Oh! Posting this outside of the cut for promo reasons >:) Sunset is doing our first prompt meme! If you're on Sunset, come drop a few prompts and maybe pick up a few ;) If you're NOT on Sunset and love femslash, check us out!
That's all for now. See ya :)
I've been focusing a lot on self-hosting again. OTW-Archive hyperfixation back in full force :p I got my personal archive back up after accidentally deleting the folder on the server and I'm working on reuploading fics to it! I had like 80 fics on there. It's gonna take a bit. I also deployed a clone of this site, Dreamwidth, at MourningDove! I doubt anyone wants an account since they're reading this on Dreamwidth but if you do just let me know. I basically did it to see if I could do it lol. I might switch the super duper personal posting there, and my system members are going to be using that instead now too. I'm pretty proud of myself; at the same time, Dreamwidth was the Big Project I was planning on after AO3, so it's kind of like, what do I focus on now?
Reuploading those fics and upgrading otwarchive I guess. But now, after accidentally deleting it, I am TERRIFIED to touch anything :( I have so many ideas too but I am just so scared I'll accidentally nuke Sunset. Yeah I'm setting up backups. But like. Setting up OTW-Archive instances in general is a real pain :/ Like I could get it back but it'd be exhausting so I'm going to try and not do that. Running Sunset though rocky has meant everything to me.
Anyway, I've been... Struggling lately but finally getting better. I got my Ketamine therapy upped to 2x per week, and I think that's been really helpful. I hate spending 4 hours a week there but it's the only thing that helps my depression lmao. I haven't been doing much lately. I do plan on trying school on campus next semester because I just. I need to make friends I'm so lonely lol. I'm currently planning on doing web development because I just. Love web development. Though they don't offer that at my CC so technically my program is "transfer studies" lolz. Please pray that I meet people who want to be my friend and talk to me because frankly I'm going insane :P
I keep thinking about how much I want to stop doing mainstream fandom (e.g. tumblr/twitter). But I can only keep up with certain friends that way. I've limited my entire Tumblr sphere to trusted friends and I'm still getting exhausted by it. (The amount of Nahleb hate in the SFA tag is exhausting, and unnecessary when there are only 3 or 4 of us. Fandom etiquette is dead.) I'm tired of being seen as a bad person for how I like to play with toys. I'm tired of being targeted. I find myself wanting to focus on original works a bit more, but I have some sort of block that keeps me from doing anything besides fanfiction. Its pretty frustrating, because I really DO LOVE FANDOM!! I DO!! But the People in it. The harassment, the bullying... Idk, it's not cool. I want to keep up with my friends but that means I have to see 3394989494949 Posts every day calling people like me subhuman :/
I much prefer Dreamwidth for fandom spaces, but then, I'm so much younger than most and I feel like people don't give me a chance because of it. I can't really blame them either. Like, most people in fandom my age ARE discourse machines, which is fucking stupid!!! You're ruining it for the rest of us!!! But even if I understand, it still hurts. It feels like there isn't anywhere I really fit in - even in the spaces I have established myself. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Instead everything feels temporary :/
Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy: on the more fandomy fandom side of things I'm in a bit of an exchanges break. I've lost momentum for them at the moment. But! I am thinking of potentially running Sunset's first exchange in a little while. If anyone would like to help me mod it, I'd appreciate some help but no pressure of course. I have a lot of plans for Sunset going forward and I'd like to build it into a real community, not just an archive for people to put their fics on when AO3 is down. Femslash fans and sapphics in fandom deserve spaces to meet likeminded people and to find things that are about femslash first and foremost, and if I can help cultivate a space that brings femslash to more people??? That's my goal forever and ever. So I'm trying to figure out what I want to do there, and trying to develop a roadmap of sorts.
I'm kinda sad Battleship isn't running this year and I have the insane idea of doing Sunset Battleship or something similar....
Been working on my 10trueloves challenge and GYWO Yahtzee! The latter of which I struggle to understand but am having fun with. Though I admit I haven't done much writing at all this month so far. I've been stuck in OTWArchive hyperfixation again.
Oh! Posting this outside of the cut for promo reasons >:) Sunset is doing our first prompt meme! If you're on Sunset, come drop a few prompts and maybe pick up a few ;) If you're NOT on Sunset and love femslash, check us out!
That's all for now. See ya :)
no subject
Date: 2026-03-11 12:16 am (UTC)MourningDove looks really cool so far! Is there any particular reason you chose that name for the project, or does it just sound neat? :0
no subject
Date: 2026-03-11 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-11 12:27 am (UTC)