toothpastepancake | you're the only one i wanna talk about

Hello dw :)

I've decided to stop seeing my DID therapist. Because she's routinely 10-15 minutes late to our sessions, acts like she doesn't want to be there, and then ends 10 minutes early. For some reason I cannot figure out, she does not like me! So fuck that. I am trying to get into another therapist who seems more mature and qualified, wish me luck. I've been really struggling with dissociation and she doesn't do ANYTHING to help with that. Why am I seeing you if your only advice is "write stuff down in your journal and listen to calming music" which any therapist can tell me?? How are you a specialist?? Do you give actual sessions to your other patients??

Ugh, Anyway, That rant over..

I recently deployed an edited instance of the status.cafe code that I edited in order to make it an embeddable word count update widget. AND i'm already wondering if I can do a similar thing with mokublog, which is a site I just found and am batshit obsessed with LOL. Anyway, it's called SIllywordz! I'm very proud of it and I had to learn a little bit of Go for it and I hope I never have to work in Go again but unfortunately I probably will at some point.

I'm also looking into creating software that is a hybrid between Stimuwrite and Cold Turkey Writer, so I'm learning Godot (what Stimuwrite was made in) at the moment. It's confusing. How do I change the color of the border on this textbox. How do I change the color of anything. I should really watch a tutorial but also from what I've seen there are very few tutorials for using Godot for anything besides games.

Speaking of games, I've been having fun with Bitsy3d, but all I've made so far is a fan-game so I'll talk about that in the second section. But it's such a fun engine!!! I am loving it so far!! I need to get more into the bitsy community because there's just so much you can do with it if you get into "hacking" it like the bitsy3d creator did. It's also super easy to work with.

Hm... do you guys enjoy my techy updates or are they largely incomprehensible? :') I'm still gonna talk about it regardless.

I've been working on the

makeashrine challenge. My subject for it is Anna Sheridan from Babylon 5 because the theme is "ghost of you" and well. She fits that! She's a pretty minor character, though, so I wasn't eeeeeeeeentirely sure how I would populate the shrine. I decided in the end to create a fan-game about her time on the Icarus, a short first person exploration game made with the engine Bitsy3D. I'm pretty proud of it! (Forgive me if I've talked about it already.)

In terms of exchanges, well, I need to get my shit together :') 1.9k on fffx and check in week is *checks notes* today? I do plan on finishing it and I love the idea I have! Just. Pray for me. Or whatever equivalent ya do! Once I get over my self-hosting hyperfixation I'll be chill.

Consent Issues just closed signups, so mints are likely soon. Yay! And then rare femslash is coming up soon too, which you have no idea HOW EXCITED I AM for it. Last round had just ended when I started doing exchanges and I was so bummed I missed out on it!

I plan on doing a short essay collection about The Orville soon, based on a published essay collection I found on Amazon. I really want the book, but from the description some of my favorite things to think about AREN'T covered, so, because I am deeply unwell about this show, I am going to do my own Orville essay collection. I plan on covering topics such as the abuse of the Kaylon and disability-related topics (especially when it comes to Alara and Isaac) among other things.