what's that in the sky? flying by?
Oct. 29th, 2025 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toothpastepancakeHello, happy week :)
I signed up for courses at my local community college for next Spring. I don't know if I'm actually going to do it but I wanted to be registered in case. I mean, it's... the goal. I'm working as hard as I possibly can to get to a point where I can handle school. And I hope that "a point where I can handle school" is a point I'm actually capable of reaching! I am so so so bored every single day of my life. I have nothing to do besides fandom exchanges and I watch everyone I grew up with move on to jobs and degrees and I just have... nothing to do that feels really meaningful. I love running Sunset I love self-hosting and trying to be a part of fandom and make it a better place,, but it's still just fandom lol.
I've had a pretty shitty week I have to admit. I think it has to do with my sleep deprivation I mentioned in my last post... but I don't think I actually realized I was sleep deprived when I posted that lol. Anyway, it's 1am as of writing this and I am definitely not tired, so I don't think I'll be fixing it tonight. But I think it's a combination of constantly forgetting to take my meds (which, when I tell my spravato tech this, he says "try to be more compliant" and it pisses me off every time...) and not sleeping that's been making me feel terrible.
It's just been kinda weird and static-y lately. I've been heavily dissociated. Also sorry if you saw the vent post on my locked personal journal, I am doing much better now <3 And I am doing much better now! I feel so embarrassed of the actions I take when I'm feeling unwell, but I'm trying not to.
Anyway I shaved my head today! It feels great. Having long hair was the worst for me, sensory-wise, and it was SO hot all the time too. I'm now entirely bald and I feel so much better. I'm getting my entire head tattooed on the 12th of November and I bought a few wigs and I am NEVER GOING BACK TO HAVING HAIR AGAIN.
..My bird freaked out when she saw me though. I'm worried she doesn't know me, she knows my voice though so I hope that's enough. She's just acted really scared of me since I walked into her room after I did it :p also, it was so fun to just. chop all my hair off and shave it in a mad frenzy
doodle4doodle assignments are out and I am EXTREMELY excited for mine. I signed up with a sock because I was so excited. I am going to do So Much. I still have a few more assignments to do and I am falling a tad behind but it'll be fine. It's just been hard because *gestures to the stuff in above section*. I'm still running rarest of rarepairs at![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
toothpastejuice and I hope to do a few fills for that soon. It's also amnesty week at femslashfete , which I always love, so I hope to do something for that, too.
CupcakKe released a new album recently and it is SO GOOD!!!!! Favs are UFO, Go Get Em and Rubik's Cube (shoutout to her for using a song to shed light on current events!!)
Hm, what else? Oh yeah! I've been OBSESSED with Palia these days. Elouisa and Subira specifically, the latter of whom I just met!! Subira is SO hot and I'm glad that Palia gives you a chance to romance characters of all ages. Also did I mention she's hot? And Elouisa... man she makes me so sad. I adore her and I ship her with Caleri, naturally. Their relationship is so complex and so tragic and it just makes me cry. Palia is a cozy game, they said. It will make you feel cozy. 🙃
That's all for now, I think, DW!
I signed up for courses at my local community college for next Spring. I don't know if I'm actually going to do it but I wanted to be registered in case. I mean, it's... the goal. I'm working as hard as I possibly can to get to a point where I can handle school. And I hope that "a point where I can handle school" is a point I'm actually capable of reaching! I am so so so bored every single day of my life. I have nothing to do besides fandom exchanges and I watch everyone I grew up with move on to jobs and degrees and I just have... nothing to do that feels really meaningful. I love running Sunset I love self-hosting and trying to be a part of fandom and make it a better place,, but it's still just fandom lol.
I've had a pretty shitty week I have to admit. I think it has to do with my sleep deprivation I mentioned in my last post... but I don't think I actually realized I was sleep deprived when I posted that lol. Anyway, it's 1am as of writing this and I am definitely not tired, so I don't think I'll be fixing it tonight. But I think it's a combination of constantly forgetting to take my meds (which, when I tell my spravato tech this, he says "try to be more compliant" and it pisses me off every time...) and not sleeping that's been making me feel terrible.
It's just been kinda weird and static-y lately. I've been heavily dissociated. Also sorry if you saw the vent post on my locked personal journal, I am doing much better now <3 And I am doing much better now! I feel so embarrassed of the actions I take when I'm feeling unwell, but I'm trying not to.
Anyway I shaved my head today! It feels great. Having long hair was the worst for me, sensory-wise, and it was SO hot all the time too. I'm now entirely bald and I feel so much better. I'm getting my entire head tattooed on the 12th of November and I bought a few wigs and I am NEVER GOING BACK TO HAVING HAIR AGAIN.
..My bird freaked out when she saw me though. I'm worried she doesn't know me, she knows my voice though so I hope that's enough. She's just acted really scared of me since I walked into her room after I did it :p also, it was so fun to just. chop all my hair off and shave it in a mad frenzy
doodle4doodle assignments are out and I am EXTREMELY excited for mine. I signed up with a sock because I was so excited. I am going to do So Much. I still have a few more assignments to do and I am falling a tad behind but it'll be fine. It's just been hard because *gestures to the stuff in above section*. I'm still running rarest of rarepairs at
toothpastejuice and I hope to do a few fills for that soon. It's also amnesty week at femslashfete , which I always love, so I hope to do something for that, too.CupcakKe released a new album recently and it is SO GOOD!!!!! Favs are UFO, Go Get Em and Rubik's Cube (shoutout to her for using a song to shed light on current events!!)
Hm, what else? Oh yeah! I've been OBSESSED with Palia these days. Elouisa and Subira specifically, the latter of whom I just met!! Subira is SO hot and I'm glad that Palia gives you a chance to romance characters of all ages. Also did I mention she's hot? And Elouisa... man she makes me so sad. I adore her and I ship her with Caleri, naturally. Their relationship is so complex and so tragic and it just makes me cry. Palia is a cozy game, they said. It will make you feel cozy. 🙃
That's all for now, I think, DW!
no subject
Date: 2025-10-29 04:07 pm (UTC)That's cool about your decision to go hairless! Good luck with the tattoos! I hope they come out as nice as you imagine, and more!
no subject
Date: 2025-10-30 01:05 am (UTC)Good luck with school and such, I hope things go swimmingly getting ready for classes. Also, I'm sure your bird will get used to how you look now, it'll just take some time. I love reading about birds and bird behavior and I think newness can be very alarming for them, but they get accustomed to it and it's probably actually good to expose your bird to new things and show they're not really dangerous, that you can have big changes in how you look and it's still you, etc... she'll be better able to cope with change if she has been exposed to safe new things before. And things will definitely change, so she has to be able to cope with that.
What kind of head tattoos are you getting? That's so cool also +_+ what classes are you signing up for?
no subject
Date: 2025-11-02 11:29 pm (UTC)